‘oh the drama’

Honestly,

this has been the most emotional summer of my life.

The grand spectrum of emotions that I can feel on a daily basis

seem to have escalated from normal to drama queen…..times two.

At least that is what it feels like.

I seem to be always caught in daily controversial emotions.

.

Summer is so good,

it gives me time to learn.

Summer is the worst thing that has ever happened to me,

why is it not over yet?

Work is very good,

it is relaxing, in air conditioning and a great opportunity.

Oh my goodness, I can’t sit at this desk for any more hours,

why is it not time to go home yet?

I am so thankful that Christ is teaching me so many lessons,

and making me aware of so many things that need to be changed by Him.

What? There is something else I am not doing or thinking about correctly? You mean I haven’t mastered perfection after all of my nineteen years of life?

Two and half weeks isn’t that long, it’s only a bit more than half a month, I can make it that long before I see Justin!

We have gone nearly five weeks already, two weeks is nothing!

Two weeks is literally the longest amount of time ever in the WHOLE WORLD.

I can’t do any more weeks, nooooo moooore weeeeks!!!

.

As you can see,

Summer hasn’t been the greatest

in regards to emotions.

I credit this stressful part of my life to my,

apparent,

enjoyment of living into every single emotion I feel, every second of the day.

It is sad really.

A sad reality.

My sad desire to express every emotion that I feel, paired with my consistent nature to try to fix everything on my own and organize things by my own schedule,

has made this summer

a time of intense learning,

and it’s only 5 weeks in.

.

Now,

to clarify,

I do not write this to complain,

nor to hope for an analysis of how I am approaching summer.

But merely to document a specific characteristic of this summer of 2012.

.

Although I do have my well exercised

emotional side,

I am also

highly logical in my thinking,

not logical in my emotions,

but quite logical in my thinking,

and

I know that there is a reason why this summer is the way it is.

How do I know?

Because I have promises.

Isaiah 66:9

 (NCV)

In the same way I will not cause pain

without allowing something new to be born,” says the Lord.
Romans 8:28

(ESV)
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

.

No matter what my emotional status of the minute,

I do know,

That this summer is good.

In every way.

That Christ provides joy and peace,

in all times.

 That I will always be a bit over emotional.

Classic.

But that my momentary emotional perspectives of the summer,

do not change the entire nature of summer.

Correct.

.

Justin once quoted this by C.S. Lewis,

 “Adventures are never fun while you’re having them.” 

[It is from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader]

And it just seems, as summer progresses on and I am continually learning,

I am identifying with the quote more and more.

Remember

THIS POST

when I said summer was going to be an adventure that I would embrace?

Well,

I was right,

it is an adventure.

A difficult adventure,

at times a painful adventure,

a freeing adventure,

a life changing adventure.

And I know,

that I will look  back on this summer and be so thankful for it.

Thankful for everything.

.

But for now,

the adventure moves along in reality.

I am not looking back yet,

but experiencing right now.

And

Honestly

even with everything,

emotions included,

summer has been good to me,

good for me.

.

also,

this is the most dramatic photo of me I had not posted anywhere yet that I could find.

I thought it fitting.

 

4 thoughts on “‘oh the drama’

  1. Oh, summers. I remember writing in my notebook earlier this year that “I think this year is going to be a good year.” I did not know when writing that I meant “This-year-will-be-full-of-hard-lessons-that-are-good-for-me” or “this-year-is-full-of-opportunities-which-ones-do-I-choose-eek” or “this-year-my-life-will-be-lived-better-but-oh-so-painful-at-times”. Be careful what you write, I suppose! This post is a good reminder to me to live *in* the moment. I don’t do that well. I dwell on things that happened far too long ago in order to process how I actually felt and I need to just move on and live in the present. Thanks for these words. 🙂

    Like

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