A Goodnight Goodbye

Today, as I settled in for my one and only 11 hour work shift for the semester,

I sifted through all of my thoughts on life, love and general experiences, trying to decide what to write about, and the one thing that kept coming to mind was

saying goodbye.

Justin and I, as part of being in a dating relationship, must say goodbye along with our goodnight each night as well as all of the small goodbyes during the day each time we part ways.

During the busy days of the week and at times the even busier weekends I find myself wishing that I could know that whatever the day holds that in the end I could just be with him, that no matter how many little goodbyes the day requires in the end I know that we will be together,

but that capability is reserved for a type of relationship that we have not yet entered into,

and I feel the heartache of being required to be left alone each night so strongly at times.

perhaps it is because I so love and long for quality time with him, yet knowing that all of our time together must still end in another goodbye, that it makes me feel a piece is always missing….

perhaps it is because of the nature of our relationship and the way that we relate to each other that makes it so difficult for me to always be saying goodbye…

perhaps it is because I live alone and so I always know that saying goodbye each night also means being alone…

perhaps it is something else,

but whatever the case, when the time comes for us to no longer be required to say a goodbye along with our goodnight,

I want to remember how beautiful a provision that is,

and treasure the knowledge that I am able to finish the day alongside my darling boy,

with no need for a farewell.

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