Over the past months I have read the biographies of Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Lucille Ball, and Grace Kelly.
And the conclusion that I came to as I finished the final pages of the biography of Grace Kelly’s life just a few hours ago,
is that I am glad I will never be famous.
As I read about the stories and of the pain of the women above, even with the inspiration and the joy that their careers gave them many times, I can’t help but see how the publicity destroyed their lives in so many ways.
How the lack of privacy and public assumption and formation of character were so hurtful to their ability to enjoy their short time on this earth.
I hurt for them in so many ways.
Though mostly I hurt for them because of the lack of Christ in their lives, the One who gives such a love that no one on earth has the power or grace to give.
The desire for love is a consistent theme in each biography.
Whether the love from just another person, or the love of a family, or the love of an audience.
The other consistent theme is that of public scrutinization and interference.
There was no line drawn between public and personal lives/information for the above women.
Everything was public.
Or was at least attempted to be made public.
Every decision and action was investigated and published for the world to know.
I am glad almost no one, compared to the above women, knows who I am.
I am glad no one I pass on the street is looking to me for what people looked to them for.
I am glad.
I want to make a difference,
I want to love dearly,
I want to be an example of Christ,
I don’t want to be famous.
I want to laugh and cry and be joyful and hurt within a small sincere community.
Not in front of the world.
I want to marry, and have a family, and travel and move and make choices without so many people caring, judging, and following.
I am glad I will never be famous,
because I honestly don’t think I could handle it.