A year ago today Justin proposed.
Honestly, I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I remember so clearly the daily life we lived together this time last year. It seems so strange that our engagement has now settled into an absolute past event. But then again, though I remember it so clearly, I feel the distance from who were then and who we are now.
In less than 2 weeks we will be married for 9 months. Celebrating a year of engagement and almost 9 month of marriage so close together are convincing me that our relationship ‘newness‘ is fading. Not that we aren’t still experiencing new things together,but when you can begin to count stages of life in years, the newness of the start of them does indeed begin to fade.
It is, in a way, bittersweet, the freshest moments of our relationship are no longer our present reality, but it must also be said that it is also very exciting. For the past few years of my life I have jumped from relationship stage to stage with a quickness I didn’t necessarily expect but also in no way regret.
2011, I began dating for the first time
2012, I began to discuss marriage for the first time
2013, I was engaged and 3 1/2 months later I was married
It has been the most wonderful, amazing whirlwind of life events I have ever experienced. And I am so grateful, but now Justin and I are in a place where we are not working towards a specific change in our relationship, no longer are we a young dating couple praying if we are meant to commit to something more with each other, no more are we an engaged couple working towards a wedding day, and no more are we a freshly married couple who have yet to live any weeks or months together. And I’m alright with that. Ironically, I feel the ‘newness‘ of no longer being in a new form of a relationship settling in, it makes for a different environment, at home, in work, in plans. It is all very good.
And now, with that, perhaps rambling, take on where we are right now, I look back a year ago today, at that moment, when we came to a pause at the walkway of lights and my heart stopped as I realized what was happening. When Justin opened the car door and led me to that quiet spotlight, where in that instant, nothing else existed around us, it was only us, surrounded by darkness which was only broken by the strings of lights illuminating our moment.
Amazed and Breathless
Quiet and Fixated
Overwhelmed and Overjoyed
That is how we lived that moment, and I am so grateful that it is how our story is to be told.
To my darling boy, my bunne, my boba, my sweet pea, my honey goose,
I must tell you,
you are my only favorite of all time.
Thank you for making history with me,
I love you.