A Young Blogger’s Frustration

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The following post is a bit of ranting, questions, and resolutions all wrapped up together on a topic that has been on my mind a lot recently, read on with that awareness.  

Recently I have been putting a lot of time into the production and up keep of my blog.

After watching American Blogger I felt like my blog could have so much potential and I was excited to become more intentional about becoming a part of the ‘blogger community’ that was talked about so much throughout the film.

I thought through my blog history and really gained a clearer vision of the purpose of my blog, and then decided to begin a project by connecting with other bloggers and telling some of their stories on my own blog in an effort to become a part of a wider community.

I sent out email after email after email to bloggers all across the world, some that I had been following for years now and others that I just recently became aware of thanks to American Blogger.

So far the response has been mixed, but mostly nonexistent.

To be honest, I am a bit disappointed; here I was after watching a film that boasted of the community that is so readily available via blogs, but even in an attempt to connect with other bloggers I find myself no closer to really becoming a part of the blogging world.

I know it isn’t intentional, people are busy and blogs are just a taste of the world that the women behind them are a part of….but it just made me wonder what I was missing…was there something about my blog that wasn’t good enough to catch their attention? Was I too far from their stage of life to be worth interacting with? Too few followers? Not looking to pay for a feature post? Too young?

Maybe they really are just too busy, but I can’t help but wonder if my blog had a following or if I was older if time would have been made for the project.

…who can know.

What I do know however, is that the blogging community is very unique. It can either be an amazing place of connections and support or it can be a fairly lonely occupation if approached with a certain mentality.

I would certainly say that I falter on the side of insecurity many times; I can take things personally sometimes that were not at all meant to hurt me and this type of personality mixes with the blogging world in a difficult way sometimes. My intentions are so hopeful and strong at the start, but it doesn’t take much to make me second guess the worthiness of my blog by the interaction, or lack-there-of, with other bloggers. Blogging is a whole other realm that I need to remember my identity as I interact with it.

This whole process had made me think on the stage of life I am in, and how rarely I find bloggers whose lives are similar to my own, personalities of bloggers perhaps, but almost every single blog I come across seems to tell a story of a husband, wife, and their children, a fashion blogger, a business owner, or a combination of the three. Maybe other 21 year olds just aren’t into blogging, maybe there are just too few of us who have stories to tell via blogs or maybe I just have not come across them. Whatever the case, it is an isolating place to be sometimes.

I don’t write this post to complain, but rather I write in reflection and even to ask any readers of this little space if you know of any young bloggers who maybe relate to this feeling? Maybe the truest of a blogging community can’t be found until I become a mother, maybe I have the wrong idea of what a blogging community really is, again, I’m not sure. Right now though, perhaps I should expect to strike out a lot in my attempt to connect with fellow bloggers across the world…perhaps my attempts are too premature…it makes me a little sad, I don’t like feeling like I’m missing out on connecting with people or that I’m stuck on the outside because I can’t do anything to change where I am in life.

I want to remember not to blame my fellow bloggers for their lack of attention to attempts at connection, I want to always give the benefit of the doubt and not feel forgotten or not good enough to be acknowledged, because in the end, I remember that I don’t blog for them or for gaining followers or to be noticed, I blog for my own story.

You’d think I would remember that far more than I do 😀

I also don’t want to feel discouraged, blogs are not meant to and should never have that kind of control over my emotions, I want to continue reading other blogs, learning from women in other stages of life and writing positive comments to let them know that I may only be one little person, but I am listening and following along with their story, and they might not know me at all or have any kind of investment in me, but because of their blog I have a small investment in their lives.

I was never a big fan person, it always felt strange to me to love someone so much only to realize at some point they don’t know you at all or maybe even worse they don’t ever even want to know you…this ‘fan’ mentality is something that can very easily develop with blogs however, because the stories shared are so personal it’s so easy to think that because you are relating so well with the stories of other women then they must be able to relate to you as well and at least be willing to talk with you, but this leads very quickly to a point where you become spread too thin over the expanse of blogs you could interact with and the bloggers themselves don’t have the ability to reciprocate.

The truth is, most bloggers can’t invest in their readers, readers are like fans, a shout-out is given and the blogger really is grateful for their support, but interaction with them is controlled and somewhat minimal. And that’s alright!

I always struggle with mediocre relationships, relationships that don’t feel even in their effort, one sided relationships…I think that this is the one area that blogging irks me, the one sided relationship part. Maybe its an inevitability, bloggers at many points gain such a following that actual sincere interaction is impossible, I think due to wishful thinking I hoped it would be different.

That I wouldn’t feel out of the loop, the group, the core, the ‘blogging community’, even with my efforts to connect. I think I am just momentarily frustrated at how one sided it all feels many times.

Any thoughts, yourselves? Is the ‘blogging community’ an elusive goal for some bloggers? What exactly is a ‘blogging community’ anyway? Any thoughts on the difference between certain generations who are bloggers? Is the system of interaction between better known and lesser known bloggers faulty or just normal?

These are the ‘life changing’ things I ponder as I await hearing back about job applications 😉

2 thoughts on “A Young Blogger’s Frustration

  1. Hey Beth 🙂 Jessica here 🙂 Fellow blogger 😉 And I go in and out of where you’re at right now. My blog is a month shy of being 3 years old! And I have three followers. Haha, one for each year! I post my blogs on Facebook, as you’ve seen, and I can see pageview numbers go up, and keep track of monthly pageviews, and so on and so forth. Sometimes it is SO discouraging to spend so much time typing up a well-thought-out blog post, ask for feedback, and no one gives it… In fact, it is very discouraging. It is also discouraging to comment on a post of someone else I follow, ask a question, and it’s like they don’t even realize that there was a question mark at the end of what I was saying. I go through the thought process of, “Is my blog too sporadic? Should I give it a huge facelift? Do I not talk about interesting things? Is it because I don’t share enough about my personal life? Is it because I share too much about my personal life? Are people seriously just skimming over what I write to get the gist, and then not making the effort to connect with how I feel?” Wow, yeah, those thoughts are on the reg around my brain. I feel like, “what’s the point of even blogging if no one’s going to really show interest?” But that’s the thing: what is the point of blogging? To blog. That’s it. There may be motives for us to write what we write, but the whole point of blogging, in essence, is for blogging to exist. Tons of people read blogs, a bit fewer actually operate a blog, and far fewer than that actually respond to blogs. I’ve learned that blogging is kind of like a public diary. People like to keep up with what’s going on with you, but that’s it. It’s another way for people to be nosy (!!) And in those times when I have thoughts that make me second-guess whether I should even have a blog, I remember that the reason I post music videos, and random pictures, and rants about life is because it is an outlet for me. It has always just been an outlet, a way to process through my life and then to learn how to cope with it – good or bad. It keeps records of who I’ve been, where I’ve been, how I’ve changed, how I have known God more. That’s the purpose it serves me. Yes, it is SO discouraging to not be able to connect with these bloggers we follow worldwide, I know them so well, and can tell them the first and middle names of their parents AND pet fish. Why can’t we be friends?? Here’s something I remember though (and it’s funny, Frank reminds me of this too!) I have already connected with a blogger I follow: YOU! Haha maybe a little cliche, but I am encouraged to know that I’m not alone in this blogger universe; I have a friend who goes through life just like me, who’s my age, and has similar interests, AND comments on some of my posts! At times what you write inspires me to write something new on my own blog, or to try a new craft, or to experience a new part of town. I know that seems like such a small-scaled world view from what you are looking for, but I’ve been learning (still am learning) to find joy where joy is in blogging. I blog not for the world to hear my voice, but to share my life with friends who care enough to see it happening. And if there are people who don’t wish to connect for one reason or another, it was not meant to be. This is my corner of the bloggosphere. I like it here, and I find rest and fun here. That’s it. That, to me, is why this whole blogging community is so unique. In every community, there are people who find themselves getting a lot of attention; and there are others who are contributing behind-the-scenes doing their own thing. Regardless of which one I am, I am still a part of it, and just like the Body of Christ can’t operate without any one part, neither can the blogger world be the same without my blog there – even if no one really reads it. So this is a super long response from me to you, but I hope that you are able to find some encouragement through this whole situation; I know it’s frustrating, believe me! But you are definitely NOT alone 🙂

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    1. I thought about you so much as I was writing my post! As I was writing about how it’s so hard to find people in our generation and life stage writing blogs I just kept thinking about how thankful I was that you blog!! 🙂 I really do appreciate your response and the encouragement that I’m not alone in the frustration of this whole idea of the ‘blogging community’!
      “what’s the point of even blogging if no one’s going to really show interest?” – I have seriously thought that SO many times, but you’re right that it’s not the statistics that show a successful blog, its just simply the blog itself!! There are no regulations, standards, expectations that need to be placed on either of our blogs, they are a representation of us and they are good that way!!
      I feel like it’s such an unusual thing to think about so often, the whole emotional connection and interaction with blogs, I am very grateful that I know you understand and can relate, because so many don’t have a personal experience with being a young unknown blogger!
      I loved reading your response and found myself nodding my head the whole time and agreeing with your sentiments!!
      And not only is my post a bit of a vent it’s also a good reminder to me to appreciate any person who interacts with my blog in any way!!! I want to remember the frustration of feeling a bit ignored and really try not to make anyone else feel that way as well!!
      I also want to try to find lesser known bloggers, because those are the people who will appreciate and understand our situation, they are just so much harder to locate, haha 🙂

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