I’ve realized that I’m not the mom who wants my babies to stay little forever.
It’s a little surprising to me since I was utterly obsessed with my baby dolls as a little girl and have dreamed of having babies since I can remember. Now that I have a baby of my own though, and am watching him growing into each new stage of his life, I truly wouldn’t wish him to remain little as I now see firsthand how exciting each new phase is for both him and I!
I thought that the newborn stage would be my favorite. That as Theo grew I would look back and ache for him to be tiny again. But in all honesty, the newborn stage is hard, especially the first time around. Everything is so new for everyone involved and figuring out what needs have to be met and when they have to be met can be really overwhelming. There are times when your baby just feels like a problem that has to be solved. A feeling I always hated, but it was reality at times because communication is, obviously, limited and experience is being gained moment by moment. As days went by though, and we all grew together, our relationship got closer and deeper and our understanding as a family got stronger thanks to the passing of time.
I look back at photos and videos of Theo when he was smaller and I am so grateful to have those moments captured. But I still don’t wish them back again. Parenting means we are to raise our children. Into independence. Into adulthood. I am completely amazed as I watch Theo reach milestone after milestone. Physically, mentally, emotionally. And as I rock him to sleep each night I pray over him prayers of protection, peace, and love as he sleeps, but also as he continues to grow. Into a boy and eventually, into a man.
Maybe a day, maybe even someday soon, will come when I will wish that Theo were small again, but right now every month that goes by brings so much joy and it just keeps getting better and better and I’m just far too excited for today and all the days to come to wish for past days, while beautiful and treasured, to come back again.